She Must Have Been Raised By Wolves

Tuesday, September 30, 2003

Ladies, pay attention. How Not To Show A Guy You Like Him When Visiting A Foreign Country For The Summer:
  • Let him take you out a bunch of times to show you around the city, as one does occasionally with strangers from far away lands such as yourself.
  • Never tell him you like him - just tell other people instead, hoping they'll spill the beans to him months later after you're gone. Added Bonus: tell all of his work friends.
  • Fuck his friend.
  • Get all psycho hose beast on said friend, including a Swingers-esque torrent of voice mail.
  • Move on to screwing someone else, making sure new flame is a bit of an asshole.
  • And finally, most importantly, after several weeks of this strange marinade and only a week before returning to your home country, let him start to wonder if you may have liked him after all when he starts dating someone and you shoot jealous bitch ex-girlfriend evil death ray stares at her every chance you get, causing him to wonder what the hell happened to his foreign friend and for his new girl to wonder if there's a history between you two, making him look like the player he's not and requiring him to do completely unneccessary patch-up work this early in his new relationship.
This might be obvious to some of you.

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