A Beautiful Monstrosity
Sunday, June 20, 2004
I'm in the middle of a desert, with The Girl, a case of virgin undrunken low carb beer, The Girl's sister (a.k.a. Is-A-Bird) and an unattended bachlorette party. Vegas, baby, Vegas! It's my first trip as an overage adult and I managed to sneak it in before I turned 60, which seems to be the median age around here. White corrective shoes, loud neon flower-patterned shirts, and slutty-looking teenagers - long live America!
And oh for the love of all that is holy, what the hell is up with the Third World-style smoking around here? I've been high on Claritin in a losing battle to keep my head fluids under control, leaking from the eyes and nostrils every time I step indoors. It makes my league bowling alley look like a hospital surgery room in comparison. I think it's the same tactic that pest control people use on bugs, you know? When they walk around with those smoking cans of whatever toxic fumes, stabbing them into trees and puffing them full of smoke to watch the termites come streaming out. Same thing - "let's get those healthy Californians out of our joy pit, so smoke away boys, smoke away!!!" It's working, I don't know how people stand it and it makes me miss California. Man, there was less indoor smoke in Turkey... and that country exports tabacco for a living, for fuck's sake!
I've got less than a minute to go at the internet booth - this is the Nonsense author and his co-author The Girl signing out.